Finding a Beginning

There's been this little voice in the depths of my spirit that's been whispering "It's time to write now." It's a soft voice. But a very persistent one. Almost like that gentle voice of God beckoning me to chase after this dream that's been buried in a dark corner of my heart. And I didn't even realize how deep it went until recently. But the more I've dwelt on the prospect of writing again, the stronger the urge to get going and write. Yet fear has been holding me back. It's the old story. I've marginalized myself by underestimating the things I am able to do with a God-sized, God-inspired dream. Just the possibility of failure keeps me from launching into the unknown and claiming new ground. There's a little part of me - strike that, a big part of me that doubts myself and struggles to fully trust God. 

"Writing? I can't do that. I'm not a writer."

There are some dreams that I've put into the "It's too hard and too impossible and I'm not enough; I might even fail at it so I'll just put it aside and into the pile of 'one day' dreams instead." This is one of those. Only, 'one day' was yesterday's today. And if nothing happens today, it makes the likelihood of achieving my 'one day' dreams unlikely if not impossible. So it's time to get started.

The Spirit works in ways that are so powerful, I marvel at the mystery! He is performing an intensive work in the depth of my being and challenging my attitude toward the dreams and promises that He has put in my heart. He's made me realize that it's not me, but Him in me. And His purposes for these things are what make them worth pursuing. Despite the fear. And despite the unknown. It's true to say that His power really does work best in my weakness.

So as this realization has slowly started to bloom in my heart, I've been eager to start writing again. Only I've been stuck as to where I should begin.  In the search of a suitable reintroduction I've decided that in order to start, I just have to start. Anywhere. Simply the action of creating something from nothing, in absolutely any direction, is the breakthrough necessary to generate momentum.  I have to push my natural inclination toward perfection to one side and embrace the messy, imperfect nature of creative trial-and-error. Let's face it, there's no way to know for sure how it's going to turn out. But actually, I think that's really the beauty of it. 

Disappearing Acts

Hi everyone, I'm back! Finally, you might add! It's only been six months. So much has happened. But let me just start with saying that it's so good to be here again.

Welcome to the new blog. I know I've said this before but, I hope this is it. No more switching to a new domain address every year. That being one of the reasons that I did change my address - instead of having a blog that was based on a theme (because let's face it, the theme changes all the time), it made more sense to put all the themes under one banner; me. So, here it is. This is me in written form.

As much as I needed some time away from blogging, I have missed it. On some days, I sat down to write but nothing came. So I stopped trying and put it on the shelf for awhile. I knew that God was drawing me into a season of quiet, so I surrendered and weeks passed without me writing anything. When I did start writing again, it still felt stilted and unnatural but nevertheless I chronicled what God was speaking to me about during my season of quiet. It's been such an amazing time of stillness and resting in Jesus, of boundless personal growth and depth. My relationship with Him has grown deeper and fuller than ever before. He's led me in a direction that He knew I needed. Perhaps not one that I would have chosen, but definitely one that has been significant in my walk with Him. And that nullifies any objection I have about saying no to writing publicly for a season.

Over the coming weeks, I'll be sharing with you some of my adventures. I also have lots of plans and ideas for the blog floating around in my brain. As you might notice, I'm under construction... *sigh* bare with me friends. This is a work in progress.

It's time to dust off that shelf and start writing again. I hope that you'll stick around and share this journey with me. Hopefully without any more disappearing acts!

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